He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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