I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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