I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize