i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
