If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
