just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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