You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
