It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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