I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
