dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
