well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
