dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
