Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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