her vagine was all disorganized.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
