based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize