im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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