she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
