the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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