Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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