Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
