So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
