If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
