Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
why is half of my head shaved?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
