we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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