Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
