Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
