I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
