I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
