just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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