the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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