Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
