Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
