I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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