We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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