Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
what the fuck happened to the tacos
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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