Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
