The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
