so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize