you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
