fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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