I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
