This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Drake has all the answers
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
