I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize