Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
