that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
