he thought i was a dude.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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