found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I can't put those talents on a resume
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Come on in and take your pants off
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