you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
