He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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