I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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