Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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