and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
