is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
