what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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