Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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