I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
