Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
