# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
