FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
