if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
