I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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