u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
