I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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