Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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