Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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