I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
